Burritos from McDonald's
by cumberbatchbooty
Summary: A random story I wrote at 2 am one day. It turned into a very weird and epic story about Vancha, Dervish, Grubbs, Crepsley and others. It's basically their adventure to Disneyland. Doesn't have a plot really, but hey, it's amusing! Chapter 2 has arrived!
1. Chapter 1

This Fanfic makes little to no sense at all, and my aim is to be funny, so I'm hoping it is! It's basically what I was thinking after I read book 5 of the amazing Demonata series by the equally as amazing Darren Shan, and then it turns into epic weirdness... Enjoy!

Warning! At the beginning, it spoils a bit of book 5 of Demonata, so I hope that doesn't effect much for you... And if I messed up on ANYTHING in the story, I'm REALLY sorry, but I am only human as far as I know, and writing random fan fictions at two in the morning is hard when you want it to be grammatically correct! So if there is anything wrong with it, like if I flip-flop with the tense, I'm sorry and PLEASE tell me if I do. I love constructive criticism! :) And again, enjoy!

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><p>Yay! Book six has Grubbs in it! Although, in the fifth book Juni was - as my dad would say- in cahoots with Lord Loss, that weird, evil, demonic creeper! He should go back to where he came from, drink some tea and play chess with his familiars, because if not, I will go into his realm, and tickle him to death! I wonder how that will work out... I would probably be killed.<p>

Beranabus, as little as I know about him, I know he will kick some demonic bu- *gets attacked by Vein and Artery and has to fight for life. Mr Crepsley comes along and throws Artery in a magically appearing dumpster, triggering a song from Family Guy to come to mind... "I'm just a prom night dumpster baby!"- while Vancha falls from the ceiling and lands on Vein. She survives the shock, but gets really mad and tries to bite Vancha, then RV falls from the ceiling and lands on Vancha, getting him mad and he tries to bite RV, but in at the same time, it temporarily paralyzed Vein. For the first time, I can say, I am grateful to a psychopathic Vampaneze.

"Even I'm surprised!" RV exclaims, still sitting on Vancha. Grubbs randomly appears and stands there looking stupid and confused, then Dervish crashes through a wall wearing a jet pack and starts singing about his love for Juni, then he sees Juni and Lord Loss riding off into a demonic sunset on a pony pooping out rainbows, as Artery drags the temporarily paralyzed Vein around, at the same time, throwing flower petals behind them. At the sight of this act, Dervish gets very offended, and screams, "I feel offended... AGAIN!" in a very odd voice, then a phone appears out of thin air and he dials a number.

He hangs up after a very odd conversation which seemed to be about gummy bears, then forty Lambs come crashing through the walls.

Grubbs sees them and squeals and ducks for cover under a table. I'm starting to think that Dervish calls the Lambs in for everything. The Lambs stand there and don't know what they were called for, and Vancha suggests that they all get burritos from... (And just so your warned, this makes no sense) McDonald's. Mr Crepsley yells about not liking burritos, sits on the floor and pouts, but Dervish, Grubbs, RV, and the Lambs are happy and squeal with excitement.

Lord Loss and Juni come back wearing weird hats, and as they return, everyone else is leaving, so they feel betrayed.

At McDonald's, RV, Dervish, Grubbs, Vancha, Mr. Crepsley and all forty of the Lambs take a seat at a particularly large booth, and they scream, "BURRITOS FOR ALL!" at the top of their voices, and a giant plates of burritos land on their table.

"This is extremely unrealistic," Grubbs murmurs to himself and looks down at the table, shaking his head. In the middle of the room, there is a potato running around in circles, on fire, wearing an Uncle Sam costume, and singing the national anthem... In Spanish.

"I think we are hallucinating" Mr Crepsley points out. Every one nods in agreement and eats their burritos as fast as they can.

Vancha is on his fifteenth burrito, when he burped really loudly then jumps out of his seat and onto the table. He stands there for a minute then burps again, louder than before and everyone cheers. All of a sudden, he runs out of the restaurant screaming, "The night of the Vampaneze Lord is at hand... AGAIN!"

In the background the song, 'I'm a Barbie Girl' starts playing and Mr. Crepsley groans, Grubbs covers his ears and bangs his head on the table, Dervish throws a burrito at one of the Lambs' face while RV cheers on the (not exactly) epic battle that will soon ensue. (More like mildly amusing!)

Dervish and one of the Lambs' who was really creepy and looked like he was about to kill someone at any minute take turns slapping each other in the face, the rest of the Lambs argue about cheese, then Mr. Crepsley and Grubbs have a very normal conversation about politics. "No normality allowed here, wherever we are!" RV roars at the pair and starts screaming because he forgot where he was and he thought he had been kidnapped.

At the moment everyone thought it couldn't get any weirder, they are proven wrong when Vancha crashes through the door to the restaurant in a mini-van. "Hey guys!" he yells to get everyone's attention. "Hop in! We're going to Disney World!"

Excited squeals from all except Mr. Crepsley. He frowns and looks disappointed. "I don't want to go to Disney World! I want to go to Disney LAND!" he almost shrieks.

"Fine!" Vancha groans and Dervish comes around to the front seat.

"Shotgun!" Dervish grins. Dervish, Mr. Crepsley and Grubbs pile into the mini-van, but when the Lambs and RV try to get in, Vancha stops them.

"Are you on the list?" he asks them, holding a clipboard with blank pieces of paper on it. He squints at the paper as if it would make him see something. "Frankly no one is! And I don't like you guys anyway, so you have to stay here," he smirks and then closes the door to the van. Then the van starts moving down the road.

"Who's driving this thing?" Grubbs asks. Grubbs shares a worried look with Dervish, who then shares a nervous look with Mr. Crepsley, who shares a nervous look with Grubbs, and then everyone looks nervously at Vancha. He chuckles.

"The magical purple penguins are driving, of course!" he laughs. Everyone screams. Vancha, not understanding why they are screaming, throws his arms in the air and started screaming too, but started about the time everyone else stopped, making him look like an idiot. But that's okay. This whole day has been idiotic.

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><p>Last night when I wrote this, I was thinking about whether or not I should write more... What do you think? If you do like it, review! I love reviews! :) I'm going to continue anyway, unless you beg me not to, and in that case I will sit in a corner in a circular room and cry... But anyway... I hope you liked it!<p> 


	2. The Return of LordLoss and Juni! :D

**A/N**: Finally! Another chapter! Phew! That was a stressful week for me, trying to get this finished up. There are more chapters to come, but they may take a while... But enjoy this completely random and somewhat useless chapter! It sorta/kinda has a plot now, not a very good one, but it's there for you to read, enjoy and review! No flames please, although constructive criticism is welcomed. This chapter requires at least three reviews in order for me to continue. This chapter is a lot longer than the last one, and I sense a pattern here so...

I would like to give a _**GIANT**_ thank you to my friend Queen NekoChan. She's one of my biggest inspirations to continue this fic, giving me loads of ideas that made the fanfic extremely funny. (Even I laughed at it while writing it!) Most of the ideas she gave me are in here, and she gave me a ton of them so it's her fault that it's so long, but that's good for you guys because you get more to read if you like to read long, funny fanfics. If you don't like to read long funny fanfics, don't read this one, because I guarantee you will be disappointed. Check out her fanfics, they're pretty amazing!

My other huge inspiration for this chapter is my best buddy Corinne. She's not on Fanfictions, we know each other in real life, and she gave me a few brilliant ideas too. I'd like to thank her for being supportive of me and just being awesome overall. And another thank you (I know this is really long! Sorry!) to Corinne's little brother for giving me awesome ideas for the first chapter as well. A lot of his jokes are in there. Thanks and love you guys! *hugs* And Corinne, make sure Garrett sees this, k?

And to anyone who reviewed chapter one, you are amazing people and I love you all for reviewing! *high-fives* You know who you are! And people who are reading this now, I'm glad you are reading, but I would love you guys more if you reviewed!  
>Now that that's over... READ IT!<p>

**Disclaimer:** I don't really think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that I do not own the Darren Shan Saga/ Cirque Du Freak... Seriously.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twoooo! The Return of Lord Loss and Juni<strong>

"Disneyland, here we come!" Vancha shrieked out the window of the van after he finally took the wheel again.

"Yay!" everyone cheered, except for Mr. Crepsley, who was being a big grumpy-pants as usual. In a state of utter boredom, Mr. Crepsley started singing the ABC's. Somehow he managed to sing it off-key, and it started to annoy Grubbs, so he hit Mr. C in the face with a frying pan, luckily, doing no damage to Mr. Crepsley's perfect face.

"WRRRAAAARGH!" Larten roared, trying to sound mean and tough to scare Grubbs away, but to no avail.

Seconds of silence later, Dervish spoke up, smiling triumphantly for no apparent reason. (Maybe the voices inside his head won the lottery) "Let's sing a song!" he laughed maniacally.

Moments later, everyone except for Mr. Crepsley started singing Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People. (A/N Just cuz I like this song!)

"_Robert's got a quick hand.  
>He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plan.<br>He's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid.  
>Yeah he found a six shooter gun.<br>In his dads closet hidden in a box of fun things, and I don't even know what.  
>But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you.<em>"

A drum set and guitar magically appeared out of nowhere and Dervish played the his gee-tar even though there's no gee-tar in this song and Grubbs played the drums. Vancha started swerving the car side to side, following the beat of the music.

"_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.<br>_

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet<em>."

Mr. Crepsley finally started singing along. Although horribly off-key, he tried and that's all that counts. He was rewarded with a cookie.

"_Daddy works a long day.  
>He be coming home late, yeah he's coming home late.<br>And he's bringing me a surprise.  
>'Cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice.<br>I've waited for a long time.  
>Yeah the slight of my hand is now a quick pull trigger,<br>I reason with my cigarette,  
>And say your hair's on fire, you must have lost your wits, yeah.<em>

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun._  
><em>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.<em>

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet<em>."

They all whistled the whistley part happily.

"_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet. <em>

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.<em>

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.  
>All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.<em>"

The song ended with maniacal laughter and the eating of donuts. Don't ask. "Four score and about seven minutes ago, I was driving to New Mexico in a stolen SUV, trying to make sure I got the the national taco convention before all the taco's got on a flying submarine and skydived to Aussieville (A/N: Austrailia. My friend told me to call it Aussiville, so if you don't like that I said that, let me know and I'll yell at him!). They do that you know," Vancha explained. "Should I get a tattoo of an octopus eating a cupcake on my neck?" he asked randomly.

"Yes!" Grubbs chirped.

"Hey guys! What does 'pumped up kicks' mean anyway? It seems so... weird and not meaningless," Dervish mused.

As if on auto-pilot, Larten answered. "I believe it means highfalutin' shoes."

Minutes later, Dervish thought of a question. "Hey, Vancha. What would happen if a rhino mated with an alligator, and their offspring mated with a penguin?"

Vancha pondered that for a moment. "Scaly, flying, orange penguin babies everywhere!" he shouted, letting go of the steering wheel, causing the van to swerve to the right, and then hit a bush. The bush swore at them and they sped off as fast as they could, following a herd of mutant giraffes.

"That does not make any sense. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Larten burst into sobs, then into maniacal laughter. "Hey, when did you get here?" he asked, pointing to Grubbs.

"Alright, which one of you drugged him?" Grubbs asked seriously. Both Vancha and Dervish raised their hands simultaneously then started laughing.

Minutes Later!

"How fast are we going?" Grubbs asked. Vancha shrugged. "Check the speed-o-meter!" Grubbs ordered.

Vancha looked down at the dash-board. "10,000,000,001 miles per second!" he said cheerfully, and at that very moment, the cops were on their tail. "It's okay. I have been in plenty of high speed chases before!"

"Yes!" Mr. Crepsley said. "We are vampires after all. We are unstoppable!"

"You're vampires?" Grubbs gasped. "OH MI GAWWWWDDD! Don't drink my blood!"

"It's okay, Grubbs. We are magical people. We can beat a couple of vampires!" Dervish comforted his nephew.

"You're _magicians_? Please, don't pull a rabbit from a hat! Those things scare me!" Vancha practically shrieked.

"Rabbits?" Dervish asked, amused.

"No!" Vancha cried. "Hats! I am deathly afraid of hats." With that, Vancha opened the van door and jumped out, and before he hit the ground, he was rescued by Mary Poppins and her magical flying umbrella that everyone is mysteriously afraid of and I don't blame them. It's because of all those horror movies about carnivorous umbrellas, I'm telling you!

"Hasta la pancakes!" they could hear Vancha call from behind them. Who knows what that could mean! (I translated it and it said: "To pancakes...")

Dervish and Grubbs were about to jump out as well, but before they could, they noticed that Mr. Crepsley had fallen to sleep and was snoring loudly, mouth ajar. With a smile on his face, Dervish drew a handlebar mustache on Crepsley's face with a Sharpie marker.

Together, Grubbs and Dervish pulled Crepsley out of the van with them, and before they hit the ground were rescued by Aladdin and his monkey on their flying carpet.

The four were soaring high in the air when Larten woke up. Noticing he was at least 200 feet in the air on a flying carpet, fear and disbelief settled in and he had a spaz attack and fell off the carpet.

"Noooooooooo!" everyone shrieked, including the the trees and the ground and even the sun. Yes the sun. Mr. Crepsley was wearing his speshal, super cool sunglasses and baby sunblock and frankly, Vancha could care less if he got burned to a crisp and blinded by the sun. When all hope seemed lost, Mr. Crepsley was caught by none other than a flock of scaly, flying orange penguin babies.

Mr. Crepsley smiled broadly as he was being carried by the odd flock of animals. "I am going to name you George, and you Bob, and you Alfonzo, and you Carl," Mr. Crepsley went about naming his weird new friends that just saved his life moments ago.

"Look at the giant double rainbow over there!" Larten said to the flock of scaly, flying, orange penguin babies, pointing to the sky which clearly had not even a trace of a double rainbow. He crossed his eyes. "Quadruple rainbow!" He had a laughing fit.

"I am so high," he sighed, "Two hundred feet in the air!"

Everyone met up again, Vancha and Mary Poppins, Dervish, Grubbs, Aladdin and Aladdin's monkey which may or may not have a name, and Mr. Crepsley with the flock of scaly, flying orange penguins. Larten, Vancha, Dervish, Grubbs and the unnamed (as far as we know) monkey belonging to Aladdin got dropped from hundreds of feet in the air. The end result is surely death, right? Ha ha! _WRONG_!

They landed in a neon orange convertible-top car, Grubbs driving, Vancha in the passenger seat, Dervish and Mr. Crepsley in the back with the monkey.

After about a mile, the gates to Disneyland were visible. They just had to get through the swarm of demonic, rabid butterflies.

Mr. Crepsley, suddenly sober, hid under a blanket and Dervish covered his face with his hands in hope to prevent being bitten by the creepy butterflies, which were foaming from the mouth with red eyes and scary fangs that could easily draw blood from even a vampire.

"Expelliarmus!" Vancha chanted in his best Harry Potter voice, pointing at the swarm of ravenous butterflies with a pointy stick. He hoped it would have an affect on something in someway, somehow, but to no avail. Vancha frowned when nothing happened but shrugged and sat back, defeated.

"When in doubt, get the giant net out!" Grubbs said as he supplied a giant butterfly net from somewhere, but no one saw where he got it from, or could even start to ponder where it came from. Grubbs caught all the butterflies in the net and trapped them, using a mysterious spell to keep an invisible bubble around the net. It would only hold them for a short time, but just enough time for them to act like immature children in Disneyland.

Mr. Crepsley pulled the blanket off of his head and waved his arms around for a reason unknown to all. "This should have a better affect on them," Larten said as he threw a box of Cheerios at the butterflies, then threw an alligator at the Cheerios. When everyone started at Mr. C with confused expressions, he smiled.

"Everyone knows that Cheerios eat butterflies and alligators eat cheerios," Mr. Crepsley pointed out, as if it were a fact everyone had to know in order to live.

"Now they're eating each other!" Grubbs cried, sad because of the different animals being eaten, but mostly sad because of the tragic loss of his box of Cheerios that he cherished so greatly. It will forever be missed.

"It's the circle of life," Vancha tried to comfort Grubbs, wiping a teardrop away.

Approaching the gates, a mysterious said, "Welcome to Disneyland!" and the gates opened. As Grubbs drove through the gate, it close repeatedly on the convertible, saying, "Denied, denied, denied," over and over again.

"Ditch the car!" Dervish suggested, and they all agreed. They got out of the car, picked it up and carried it to the closest ditch they could find. "Perfect!" Dervish cheered.

"Mission accomplished," Vancha added in. They all ran back to the gate, but were stopped by a group of hula-dancing trees that popped out of the ground suddenly and demanded payment for unpaid parking tickets that had supposedly been given to them by the FBI.

As they studied the trees further, they noticed they were wearing sparkly golden parachute pants with silver bunnies on them. They were definitely eye-catching pants.

"No not move an inch, and avoid eye contact with the trees at all costs," Mr. Crepsley warned. "Otherwise, the hula-dancing trees will see that you are afraid and they will steal all of your clothes!"

"But trees don't have eyes," Grubbs pointed out. That was probably the smartest thing that was said that whole day.

"You are right," Mr. Crepsley said, "but the mysterious gate-voice does. The trees and the gate-voice are pals. They tell each other everything!" After 20 agonizing hours of standing, waiting for the trees to hula away to no avail, Vancha got bored.

"I know what you said about not moving for my clothes will be stolen, but honestly, I couldn't care less right now, due to the boredom eating away at my soul," Vancha stretched and yawned. The trees stopped hula-ing for only a fraction of a second, but then continued to hula in front of them.

Only that time, they were hula-ing with _hats_. Vancha started screaming like a frightened four year old girl and hid behind Mr. Crepsley. "Don't let the trees see me, or we will all certainly be killed!" Vancha sobbed, knowing that the hula-trees don't like people who fear them, which is most stupid people.

"I have a plan," Grubbs dead-panned, "We'll run as fast as we can while Dervish stays here and creates a diversion."

"Brilliant!" Vancha complimented, "We'll call it, 'Operation-Dervish-will-distract-trees-all-day-while-we-act-like-foolish-children-in-Disneyland-with-a-monkey-named-Abu'!"

"How do you know his name is Abu?" Mr. C asked the green-haired Prince.

"Oh, didn't I tell you that I can communicate telepathically with monkeys from cartoon movies and TV shows?" Vancha inquired.

"No, you left that part out," Dervish said almost sadly, trying not to think of what would happen if –or a better word, _when –_their plan would go horribly wrong.

"Oh," Vancha mumbled, "Well, I can communicate telepathically with monkeys from cartoon movies and TV shows," he stated the obvious. "I once had a four hour conversation with Curious George."

"Alright," Grubbs said, preparing to run, " 'Operation-Dervish-will-distract-trees-all-day-while-we-act-like-foolish-children-in-Disneyland-with-a-monkey-named-Abu' is under way!" With that, everyone stormed off, running at full speed away from Dervish and the trees which may or may not have been carnivorous, but no one really wanted to stay long enough to find out. So, Dervish was forced to stand there, not exactly knowing what to do next.

One of the trees hula-ed over to Vancha and was about to grab him and probably steal his clothes or maybe eat him, but dervish didn't want his new friend humiliated or dead, so he did the first thing he could thing of. He danced.

"Q-Tips!" Dervish randomly shouted while doing some sort of combination of ballet and tap dancing. As he'd hoped, Dervish's random outburst caught the trees' attention, and the started hula-ing toward him slowly and uncertainly. "Q-Tips are extremely useful inventions, good for many different things. They can be used to clean your ears, to throw at people, to put up your nose to scare people in the subway (Honestly, I have no idea where that came from), to apply way to much makeup to peoples' faces, and so people can use them as earplugs so they can't hear youe scream when you're being strangled by a very PO-ed kangaroo that had just lost on 'Jeopardy'."

After an awkward pause, Dervish ran froward and looked like he was going to run into the trees when a pogo-stick magically appeared and he jumped over the trees and over a cloud, and over the moon! He pogo-ed like a dang pro! Then reality kicked in and he started choking, so he clicked his heels together and gasped, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home!" frantically, and appeared in the same place he was in Disneyland. Not Carcery Vale, but close enough.

He shook the gates, which for some reason, unknown to everyone, even Elvis, or Chuck Norris wouldn't open, so he had to jump over them, and he landed safely on the other side.

He was greeted by his friends, who were wearing Mickey Mouse hats and eating cotton candy. "We already went on all of the rides," Grubbs stated happily to his uncle, stuffing his face with blue cotton candy.

"So fast?" Dervish gasped.

"Of course!" Mr. Crepsley grinned. "Vampire speed, remember?"

"Yeah, and I went to Disneyland in the Demonata's universe, and time passed much faster there than it did here," Grubbs explained ironically. Who knew demons liked Disneyland?

"Did you see Lord Loss and Juni?" Dervish asked his nephew excitedly. Grubbs nodded.

"Yes, I did. They were plotting world domination, but they told me not to tell you, so, don't ask," Grubbs said, eating more cotton candy. Abu jumped on his head and stole the remaining fluffy, sugary snack then sat on Vancha's shoulder like a parrot.

"We need to stop them!" Dervish gasped.

"Okay," Grubbs agreed, "but not until we stay here for a few more hours and make complete fools of ourselves!" Everyone cheered, agreeing with Grubbs.

They formed a straight line and skipped with glee (A/N: Not the cast of Glee, but I was seriously considering that). The hula-dancing trees were denied by the gate, those unfortunate trees.

Boarding a very big and quite scary roller coaster, they all sat in a seat. Abu saw that a teenaged boy with black hair was fighting an albino woman and something that looked like Satan with water balloons and a squirt gun, and Mickey Mouse was trying to break up the epic battle, and was failing pretty badly.

Abu squealed to get everyone's attention then jumped from foot to foot pointing to the battle while screeching as loud as he could.

"What is it?" Vancha thought to the monkey, using his vampire-to-monkey super speshal thinking powers.

"Look over there!" Abu thought back to the green-haired man. Vancha looked, and told everyone else to look over there too. What they saw made them all gasp.

"Charna's guts! Why on earth is Darren fighting Lord Loss and Juni with a squirt gun and water balloons?" Mr. Crepsley asked as Darren shot Juni in the face with water.

"I don't know," Dervish answered to the apparently rhetorical question. (He failed.) "Why isn't Juni melting at the touch of water? She's the wicked which after all!"

*****cricket sounds*****

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><p>"I have no idea why I'm fighting you, or who you are, but you have evil, sadistic grins on your faces, so I assume I should be kicking your butts!" Darren yelled at Juni and Lord Loss, a grin that says "My intent is to kill you all!" spread across his face as he threw a blue water balloon at Lord Loss and it hit his straight on his non-nose.<p>

"No!" Lord Loss cried. "I have been defeated! You found my weakness! The color BLUE!" Lord Loss pronounced every syllable dramatically and collapsed on the pavement with a thud.

"I thought they were plotting world domination," Vancha muttered to Grubbs who shrugged.

"Demons are crafty sons of fishes."

As Lord Loss lay sobbing on the ground, ready to curl up in a ball and die in a hole, Darren came up to Juni, challenging her to do something. Anything. But Juni stood there motionless, looking at the master's almost lifeless body, wondering why in the worlds he was allergic to the color blue.

"Now it's your turn to perish!" Darren screamed at Juni, a sinister grin still on his face. Without further hesitation, Juni stole the green water balloon from Darren's hands. Shocked, Darren stood there, and took what was coming. No, he didn't get a pony. Or a hug. Or a bouquet of flowers. He got pain. Unbearable pain.

Juni threw the water balloon at Darren's... Spot no boy wants anything to be thrown at. "Ahh!" Darren shrieked like Finn did on Adventure Time did so many times before, and fell on the ground crying. That's understandable.

Mr. Crepsley ran over to Darren. Uncharacteristically, he started chuckling at Darren's pain. Soon, it escalated into him doubled over in laughter. "You look stupid!" Mr. Crepsley gasped for breath, pointing to the crying Darren.

Darren's face turned red. He glared hatefully at his mentor. "Yeah, well... Well, your cape is stupid!" Darren quipped.

Offended, Mr. Crepsley scoffed and looked down at his usually red cape to see that it wasn't actually his, but Kurda's sparkley pink cape. How did his cape get in Larten's closet? The world will never know, nor do they want to.

"I'll take that!" Kurda appeared in his usual blue attire with his long platinum blond hair brushed neatly and he took his cape back from Larten, although with much struggle. Mr. Crepsley tried to yank the cape out of his hands, and succeeded. Kurda was standing there, wanting his cape back.

"Yuck! It _smells_ like you!" Mr. Crepsley yelled and threw it back to Kurda. Although Kurda didn't actually smell bad – he showers everyday, unlike most vampires who shower once a month or even once a year – Mr. Crepsley couldn't stand that vampire sometimes. Really, not many people could.

Crepsley glared at Kurda with a sour expression. If looks could kill, Kurda would be strapped in a coffin and dropped on the stakes again. And again, and again. And again.

Kurda, ignoring the evil glare he was receiving from Larten, rode off on a llama that eventually grew wings and flew away, back to Vampire Mountain so he could resume being ignored by most vampires and taunted by Arra.

Mr. Crepsley, for some reason, didn't bother wearing a shirt that day, so he was standing in the middle of Disneyland shirtless, little kids running away from the scene of the half-naked vampire, but Larten Crepsley fangirls were swarming around him.

"Squee!" came the chorus of fangirls. They huddled around him, waiting for him to say something that they could think was amazingly smexy.

"Uh, hello ladies?" Mr. Crepsley greeted them uncertainly. It had been a long time since he was surrounded by women. But most of these fangirls were in the range of ten to eighteen years of age, so this wasn't what he was used to. And he was a little creeped out at all the young girls staring at his toned abs and scars that littered his chest.

After moments of awkward silence, Mr. Crepsley tried to back away, but he only bumped into more girls. "I am very glad you are all enjoying staring at me, but could you please back up a few feet?" Mr. Crepsley asked as kindly as he could, given the circumstances. The girls obeyed. Well, obeyed as much as a Larten Crepsley fangirl can while standing in front of their favorite vampire ex-general. They moved back about four inches, but continued to stare, drooling like golden retrievers. Now Larten could see more people and he saw that one of them was male. Not just any male. It was Gavner. Wait, Gavner! Nope, a yaoi fangirl wearing a Gavner mask, ready to glomp Crepsley at any moment.

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><p>Meanwhile, Grubbs was having a glaring contest with a rock, and he won that contest. The rock blinked after forty seconds. It could have done better. Grubbs kept the rock as a pet and had named him Grady. So then his name was Grady Grady and it was pretty awesome. (Years later the rock died of hypothermia and he was greatly missed.)<p>

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><p>Back to Mr. Crepsley, the girl with the Gavner mask had actually glomped him, and now he was screaming, extremely scared, since the girl was only about thirteen (and looked like his best friend with that mask on!), and Larten was over one hundred fifty years old. That's not old for a vampire, but, that's old for a human.<p>

"What the heck do you want from me!" Mr. Crepsley almost shrieked, trying to make the fan-girl stop hugging him. Not knowing what to do, Mr. Crepsley tried hugging her back to see what would happen, hoping she would be satisfied and release her grip around his neck, but to no avail. She only hugged him harder and when he tried to stop hugging her, she would pull his bright orange hair. Hard.

She took off the mask and threw it somewhere. "Be my mate!" the girl demanded as she snuggled Mr. Crepsley's neck and breathed in deeply through her nose, smelling him.

His eyes widened as he realized that only meant one thing... He got scared and let go of the girl, no matter how hard she pulled his hair, and dropped her on the ground. She landed with a small yelp because of shock and a small amount of pain, – Mr. Crepsley was nearly seven feet tall – but she got up and tried to glomp him again.

Mr. Crepsley had seen this coming and had already started running away. He wasn't to flitting speed yet, but he didn't have a far distance to run to get to the nearest tree so he could climb, so flitting was really unnecessary.

Larten bolted for a tree. The only tree in the whole park. He climbed it, even though it didn't have any branches until about half way, and it was a pretty tall tree. No human could climb it without any handholds.

But Mr. C wasn't human. He scaled that tree like Spiderman! Behind him he could hear the girls shouting gleefully, "Get him!" and "He will be mine!" His Spidey-senses were tingling... Fangirls were getting close and were intent on getting Crepsley from that tree, no matter what they had to do.

Juni was about to finish Darren off when Vancha came to the rescue. "I'll save you!" he yelled dramatically and grabbed Darren by the waist and threw him as far as he could. Luckily, he landed safe and sound on a high branch of the tree. Looking up, he saw his mentor kissing a squirrel.

"Uh, Mr. Crepsley?" Darren said quietly. "I don't know if you noticed, but that's a squirrel." Mr. Crepsley's attention shot over to Darren. Mr. Crepsley turned white as a sheet, then ten shades of red.

He coughed uncomfortably, throwing the squirrel at a tree, leaving it dazed and a bit confused. "I uh, I was dared!" Mr. Crepsley quipped.

"By who?"

"The voices in my head told me to do it," Mr. Crepsley said all too seriously.

"You hear voices?"

"Only when they speak to me."

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><p>"Let. Me. GO!" Juni squealed at Vancha who had her draped over his shoulder as if she were nothing. She was pounding her clenched fists into his back, but he didn't take much notice of it.<p>

To drown out the sound of her complaining, Vancha started singing "Oh Christmas Tree," and although very out-of-tune, it did the job, and soon he almost forgot she was there. Sounding like a tone-deaf walrus is a good thing sometimes.

Vancha heard a small girl screaming from above him, and when he looked up he saw a little Mexican girl with a purple backpack falling from the sky.

She landing on Vancha, causing him to drop Juni and fall to the ground as well, unconscious. The girl sprang to her feet, standing on the knocked-out vampire.

"Hola! I'm Dora!" said girl shouted gleefully in a sweet voice. "Let's go on an adventure!"

Stunned, Juni ran for her life when Dora became deformed and turned into a tree then back to herself again and ran into a wall, knocking out all of her teeth and then getting glowing demon-like red eyes while she foamed at the mouth. She meowed like a kitten then attacked Juni, running at her with a speed faster then any vampire could muster, then starting gnawing on her leg, even though she was toothless.

Somewhere between the time it took for Vancha to become unconscious, Darren and Crepsley to sit on a branch in a tree discussing the voices Crepsley hears, Dervish doing something or another, Dora gumming Juni to death and Juni doing nothing about it, Lord Loss whimpering on the ground, Mickey Mouse confused, Grubbs trying to feed his pet rock that sadly can only blink, the squirrel feeling rejected, Abu smiling triumphantly for some reason or another, and the fangirls forming a human ladder to Crepsley, Kurda had told the Princes what the Vampires, mage and magician were up to, and the Princes were upset they were not invited to this odd get-together, so they were going to join the party... With a snow-mobile.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>AN:** Will anyone ever notice Mr. Crepsley's fake sharpie mustache, and will he and the squirrel meet again? Will the Princes make any of the situation better if they do come?

Stay tuned for more Burritos From McDonald's to find out!

Super sorry for the really long A/N at the beginning, just had a lot to say. Remember, three reviews or more to continue! Also, if you have any ideas for the next chapter, please, oh please, let me know in the reviews, or in a PM! Thanks peoplez! You rock! You deserve a thousand dollars each! :P (I don't know how much that would be in in any other currency... Sorry, I'm just an ignorant American trying to do what she does... :D) PEACE OUT!


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